Trouble with a Script
by Durbe the Barian
Summary: Drabbles about the Barian Emperors while they're filming various episodes. Suggestions are welcome. Implied Durbe/Rio Ch. 6: In which the cast tries to find Misael's pet.
1. Locker Troubles

**Trouble with a Script**

**Humor**

**Seven Barian Emperors**

**Drabbles about the Barian Cast having slight difficulties with their scripts. Implied Durbe/Rio.**

**(If I owned Zexal, these would be omakes.)**

**xxxxxxxxxxxxx**

Chapter 1

Locker Troubles

* * *

Nasch stared at him with the intent to kill. "Nasch!" Durbe said sternly. "What is the matter with you?! We're all the Barian Emperors. Betraying one another is the worst crime one of the Emperors can commit. Do you not understand?!"

"**BEEEEEEEP."**

"Okay, boys, take a break," the director said.

Then all the Barians Emperors fell to their knees in exhaustion.

"What is the deal with this guy?" Alit mumbled.

"It's like Dark Zexal Week," Gilag said with a groan.

"All our lines are just getting weirder and weirder," Durbe said exhaustedly.

"At least we didn't have to use Bariaphose in this episode," Miseal said. "I hate it when they use the special effects while we get into those skin tight costumes." (Barian forms.)

"So, has anybody read the latest script?" Ryoga inquired, pulling off his 'Nasch' head as he slumped into his chair. "It's like they're messing with us."

"I have," Durbe said, holding up the script in question. "What is with Vector and acting like a total buffoon? And then Don Thousand gets to threaten us like that." He read Don Thousand's line. "**Stop acting like children, you brats.** Very redundant, wouldn't you agree? **Get your ridiculous acts together and follow my servant, Vector, before I banish you to the human world and drain you of the powers I gave you.**"

"And then we have to act all surprised," Miseal said. "What is it with my lines? **What? Are you saying that you-**"

Durbe finished Don Thousand's line. "**That is correct, Miseal. I gave you seven Emperors the power of Chaos when you died. I am the reason you became the Seven Barian Emperors.** Talk about an ego."

"Yeah, no joke," Alit said. "They're totally writing him out of character."

"Either that or he's _in character_ and we just didn't know it," Rio suggested.

"Whatever," Durbe said. "I'm gonna go grab my water bottle. I'm thirsty."

"I'll go with you," Rio said.

"Fine then," Durbe said, his hands resting in his pockets.

Five minutes past, with the Barian Emperors focusing intently on their new scripts. "Nasch! What is the matter with you?!" Miseal yelled, his eyes glued to the paper in front of him. "Durbe...Durbe went through hardships to get you back. He was willing to put up with Vector's insane plans if it meant getting you back! So why...why did you betray him like that?!"

"In this battle for our world, he was getting in the way," Ryoga responded, his eyes skimming the page. "It was a necessary sacrifice."

"No!" Alit yelled. "It was not! You once told Durbe that you couldn't think of anyone better suited to be your right hand man! Was that a lie?"

Ryoga paused, just as the script demanded. "It was..."

"KYYAAAA!"

All the Barian Emperors jerked their heads toward the locker room. "Rio!" Ryoga yelled.

Dropping their scripts, they ran into the locker room, only to find Durbe strangling Vector, Rio sitting on the ground from fear.

"Vector no baka!" Durbe yelled. "I don't care if you **were **rehearsing. Don't hide yourself in my locker!"

"Uh, Durbe?" Ryoga asked. "What is going on?"

"Allow me to explain," the prop master said, appearing in the locker room with one of the Abyss Splash spear thingies. "Durbe and Rio walked into the locker room. Durbe opened his locker and found 'Vector the Stalker' hiding in it. Rio screamed and Durbe grabbed onto Vector's neck."

Then the prop master left the room, leaving all the Barian Emperors dumbstruck.

Vector then stood up. "Well, I have lines to rehearse," he said, making good on his escape before the other members of the Barian cast were knocked out of their stupor.

"Durbe," Miseal said. "It just hit me. Why were you guys taking so long in getting your water bottles?"

Durbe and Rio turned bright red. (You could see steam fly out of their ears.) "Uh, well," Rio began. "I tripped and Durbe caught me, but then he fell backwards and I landed on top of him."

"It only takes two seconds to get off of him, you know," Alit said.

Durbe rubbed the back of his head. "We were also saying our lines for the next episode," he said. "We just happened to be in the proper position."

"Wait a second," Ryoga said. "You're not talking about the scene I think you're talking about, are you?"  
Durbe and Rio just had to be blunt. "Yes."

"The scene where Princess Rio falls onto Sir Durbe after she trips on the stairs and he attempts to catch her?" Alit asked. Durbe and Rio nodded. "That's got to be my favorite scene. Especially since they kiss."

Little did he know that Ryoga just turned red as well, though his reasons were a little more on the anger side.

"I wish I could get into a situation like that with Kotori-chan," Alit continued dreamily, his mind drifting off to his crush on both the show and real life. (It was actually kinda creepy when he said his acting would be very real in his debut episode.)

"I'm going back to the rehearsal room," Durbe said.

"Wait a minute!" Ryoga yelled.

Then Durbe made good on his escape.

He would be lucky to survive the rehearsal.

No doubt.

* * *

**D.T.B: Okay, I enjoyed that. Any questions? I don't think the Barian Cast is available this time around.**

**FairyLight: The lines you made up for them was funny! Where did you find them or did you make it up on the fly?**

**D.T.B: I made 'em up. I was writing another oneshot and I got to thinking, 'what if they were rehearsing for the episode I was writing?' They'd go bonkers.**

**FairyLight: Will Princess Rio falling on Sir Durbe be used in any fanfictions?**

**D.T.B: I hope so! That might actually work, now that I think about it.**

**FairyLight: How mad will Ryoga be?**

**D.T.B: Possibly fuming. No. Scratch that. Definitely fuming. His little sister on top of someone like that? Big brother instincts.**

**Haruto: Did they actually kiss?**

**D.T.B: No. They were about to, but that's when they found out Vector was in his locker.**

**FairyLight: What scene was Vector rehearsing?**

**D.T.B: That was just his excuse. He just wanted to scare Rio. Worked too.**

**FairyLight: I like that spot where Don Thousand said he gave Chaos Power to the Barians before they died. That would explain why they have Chaos Power when it looks like some of them are unlikely to have it at all. Are you planning to do a fanfiction on that?**

**D.T.B: Who knows? I just thought of it on the fly. Last Question!**

**Durbe: Pretty good fly.**

**D.T.B: Don't talk like that, loverboy!**

**Durbe: What was that?!**

**D.T.B: Again, last question!**

**FairyLight: That scene they were doing in the beginning, where was it taking place? You mentioned Ryoga taking off his 'Nasch head.'**

**D.T.B: In the human world. I think it's safe to say that they can activate their forms without too much problem.**

**FairyLight: So true.**

**D.T.B: Okay, everybody. See you next time.**


	2. Problematic Romance Scene

(I will be updating once a week. If you have any suggestions as for a funny chapter, let me know in a review and I will see what I can do.)

Chapter 2

Problematic Romance Scene

* * *

"Please be careful, Your Majesty," Sir Durbe said.

"Mo!" went Princess Rio. "Stop acting like that, Durbe-kun. I am fully capable of taking care of myself."

She started walking down the steps, towards Sir Durbe.

It was a very bad idea to wear heels.

Princess Rio tripped on the steps. "Rio-hime!" Sir Durbe cried, stretching his arms out to catch her.

It went black for a moment, but then Princess Rio opened her eyes, finding herself at the bottom of the stairs. Contrary to how she should have been, having fallen down several steps, there was not a scratch or even a bruise on her skin. "Daijoubu, Rio-hime?" a voice asked.

"Uh huh," went Princess Rio.

"Then (cough) would you be so kind as to remove your knee from my lungs?"

Princess Rio looked down. Below her was Sir Durbe. "I am having slight difficulty breathing," he continued.

Instantly, Princess Rio jumped off of Sir Durbe. "Oh, Durbe-kun, are you okay?"

Sir Durbe smiled slightly. "I am," he said, slowly running his gauntlet-covered hand through her ocean blue hair.

Their faces were only inches apart, and Princess Rio was slowly closing the gap. Their lips were only seconds from connecting. Their first kiss...

"What are you doing?!" Ryoga suddenly screamed.

"**BEEEEEEP!**"

Rio sat herself up as Durbe pushed himself into a sitting position. "And then they wonder why we keep getting No-Goes," he grunted.

The director walked up to his microphone. "**Take a break, everybody,**" he said. "**We'll try again in a few minutes.**"

Then the director left, leaving a fuming Ryoga with Durbe and Rio.

"This might have been a bad time for Vector to go on vacation," Rio mumbled.

"At least I can act properly around him," Durbe agreed. "Ryoga, you know it's just pretend. It's not like we're actually kissing, so why do you keep freaking out?"

"I can't help it," Ryoga said. "I know you, Durbe. But I don't think even you can resist kissing her if you had the chance."

"Gee, thanks for the support," Durbe said sarcastically. "Where did Misael go?"

"He went into the locker room to rehearse his lines for the next episode," Rio said. "Apparently, Ryoga's screaming was driving him nuts."

"Can't say I blame him."

Quiet.

Then Misael entered the room. "Finally, it's quiet in here," he said. Then he noticed the looks on their faces. "Um, did I miss something?"

Durbe and Rio pointed to Ryoga.

Misael simply slapped his face. "Ryoga, they're just pretending," he said. "You don't have to keep giving them No-Goes. At least save your scream for when you come in AFTER they kiss."

"That's what we've been telling him for the last hour," Rio said.

"Not that he seems to understand," Durbe finished.

Then Alit walked in. "N-G again?" he asked.

"Where have you been, Alit?" Rio asked.

"I was at the coffee shop with Kotori-chan," Alit said dreamily. "She was especially beautiful in her costume. They're shooting outdoor scenes, you know. She was wearing her swimsuit."

"Simpleton," Misael thought.

"Boy, is he caught in love," Durbe thought.

"So," Alit said suddenly, "when is the kissing scene?"

Kissing.

Alit couldn't have chosen a worse word for the scene they were trying to finish.

Even Alit, dense as he was, could see the lightning erupt behind Ryoga. "They are not KISSING!" he practically screamed.

"That's what we've been trying to tell you!" they all yelled.

Looked like Ryoga got the hint.

For the most part.

Soon after, the director returned and they tried the scene again. (This time, they pulled Ryoga into the booth so he couldn't interfere with the scene. A/N They should have done that ages ago.)

Rio woke up on Durbe.

Durbe requested that she moved a little bit, as he was practically suffocating underneath her weight.

"Looks like Durbe's got this scene taken care of," Misael said. Then he noticed Alit was holding a piece of string. "What are you doing with that, Alit?"

Alit giggled deviously. "What's a romance scene without a little pizazz?" Alit asked.

Misael didn't like where this was going. "You didn't," he said, turning towards the set. Under Rio's hand was a piece of paper with a piece of string attached.

"**Oh, Durbe-kun,**" they heard Rio say, "**are you okay?**"

They watched as Durbe placed his hand in her hair. "**I am**," he said.

Rio slowly inched her way closer to Durbe's face.

Just as they were at the perfect angle to be considered a 'kiss' to the audience, Alit took action.

He gave the string a tug.

The paper instantly flew out from under Rio's hand, forcing Rio to fall forward, (Since her balance was ruined.) and land on Durbe.

Lips first.

"Durbe!" Ryoga screamed.

"Perfect," the director said. "This scene is done. You guys can get out of your costumes now."

Then Rio pulled herself off of Durbe and covered her lips. "I am so sorry!" she screamed.

"It's okay," Durbe said, turning his face away from her so as to hide his building blush.

"Durbe!" Ryoga stomped his way onto the set. Then he grabbed hold of Durbe's armor. "What did you just do?!"

"Stole Rio-chan's first kiss," Alit said. "Durbe, you troublemaker."

"It wasn't my fault!" Durbe screamed.

"I lost my balance!" Rio defended.

"Don't go defending him, Rio!" Ryoga said.

"It's the truth!" Durbe said. "Misael, you saw! Help us out here."

"I think I'm going to go home," Misael said.

"Misael, you traitor!" Durbe yelled. "That's not fair!"

Then Alit made a run for it.

Leaving Durbe and Rio to suffer Ryoga's wrath.

Why them?

* * *

**D.T.B: It goes without saying now that I am a total Sir Durbe/Princess Rio romance fan. I just can't get enough of this pairing. You'll be seeing little hints like this at least once a chapter, but I will be torturing the other Barian Emperors too.**

**FairyLight: Really? 'Cause it looks to me like Durbe and Rio have been getting all the torture lately.**

**D.T.B: I will. Don't worry. I'll also be throwing Miseal into a problem with Droite, Alit with Kotori...let's see. Who else is cute enough to do something like that? Oh, yeah! Maybe Haruto will meet Iris! I can definitely see trouble from that one!**

**FairyLight: And all of these, I can see Ryoga as the voice of screaming.**

**D.T.B: It's not like Kaito would be too happy either. But for right now, I'll just be torturing the past lovebirds.**

**Durbe and Rio: We are not past lovebirds!**


	3. Alit's Line

Chapter 3

Alit's Line

* * *

Episode 103 (I think.)

Alit and Gilag awoke from their crystal slumber. While Durbe was happy that his friends had returned, he couldn't say that they were normal. In fact, they were far from it. Alit...there was something about him that just didn't seem right. Something about him was off. Like a circuit had been cut in his attitude. (Don't ask where THAT line came from.)

At the mere mention of Yuma Tsukumo, something inside Alit had snapped. They mentioned the Ruins where another Number slept, and Alit said only one thing. "I'll go! I'll defeat Yuma! He's my **prey!**"

Then he vanished.

And Durbe was curious as to what he meant.

"Okay, boys, that's a wrap," the director said. "Take a break for lunch."

Miseal pulled off his crazy face. "Finally!" he exclaimed. "I was beginning to think I'd suffocate in that mask." He looked over to Durbe, who was lost in thought. "Durbe?"

Durbe then looked over to him. "Huh? Did you say something, Miseal?"

"Uh, no. It's nothing important."

Needless to say, Durbe's strange behavior continued until just after lunch.

Miseal and Durbe sat at the same table during lunch time. It was when he sat down and looked at Durbe long and hard did he notice something. "Why are you still reading this episode's script?" he asked.

"Huh?" went Durbe, who turned to look at his friend/roommate. (Rather annoying roommate, but better than Vector.)

"The script," Miseal said, pointing his chopsticks at the item in question. "Why are you still reading it? You're not appearing for another couple of episodes, so you've got nothing to study."

"I'm not studying," Durbe said firmly. "I was just looking at something."

"And what's that?" Miseal asked.

"Remember what Alit said before he 'vanished?'" Durbe asked, a strange, cryptic look on his face.

"Let me think," Miseal said, pondering over the question for a moment. "Oh, yeah. He said that Yuma was his 'prey.' Why?"

"That wasn't his line," Durbe said simply.

"What do you mean?"

"His line was supposed to be, 'Tsukumo Yuma is my opponent.' Not 'prey.' I was wondering why he said that."

He went through the script for a good five minutes before his grumbling stomach forced him to put the script down and eat. Then Alit came up to them, humming his "Delicious Food" song. "Hey, guys!" he said happily. "What's up?"

The Barian Emperor didn't wait for an answer before he started digging into his meatball spaghetti with extra pasta sauce. (And then people wondered why Durbe stopped eating messy food.)

It was a good twenty minutes before Durbe was able to get a word in edgewise. By that time, the Barian Emperor was long gone.

Durbe could only sigh in defeat.

Sometimes, he wondered about that man.

* * *

After lunch, Durbe decided to go look for Alit in hopes of getting an answer to his question. Unfortunately, the Battlin' Boxer whacko was nowhere to be seen. Where would that simpleton be at that hour? (Four o'clock. They were busy.) "Hey, Durbe," Miseal called, running over to his friend. "What are you doing?"

"Just looking for Alit," Durbe said. "I wanted to figure out why he said that line, but I can't seem to find him."

"Why are you so worried about a stupid line?" Miseal wondered. "It's no big deal."

"I know," Durbe said. "But still, I can't help but feel like I've heard that line before. Somewhere..." Durbe trailed off. (Nasty habit.)

Loud banging from the horror set knocked Durbe out of his thoughts. "What the...?" Miseal wondered.

Durbe then ran over to the set.

* * *

It didn't take long to distinguish Alit from the broken set. Quite frankly, he shouldn't have dressed up like a wolf. It made seeing things as simple as a paint brush on the ground difficult.

Durbe and Miseal let out a long sigh. "What were you doing here, Alit?" Miseal asked. "We don't have any scenes to shoot here."

Alit then stood up and wiped his tail clean. "I was told to rehearse for my next scene with Yuma, so here I am," he explained.

"In a wolf outfit?" Durbe asked, eyeing the costume carefully. "Aren't you going to be wearing a red shirt, brown pants, and a dark cape?"

"What makes you say that?" Alit asked.

For a moment, Miseal thought that Alit had a screw loose. "It's in the script," he said. "Haven't you read it?"

"Yeah," Alit said, holding up his own copy of the precious material. "But the scene I was given was this crazy scene where I'm dueling Yuma in a haunted house with a werewolf ghost possessing my body."

Durbe held out his hand. "May I see it?" he asked.

Alit gave him the script.

Durbe looked through it for about ten seconds before closing it. "Alit," he said slowly, "you grabbed the script for the Halloween special."

"What?!" Alit cried, snatching the script out of Durbe's hands. Then he proceeded to read the title.

The Haunted Duel.

"By jove, you're right!" he exclaimed.

"Where did that exclamation come from?" Miseal asked.

"Now I remember," Alit continued. "I was hungry, so I grabbed the first thing available and mistook it for the script for this week's episode."

"That would definitely explain why he was humming that song when the script was distributed," Durbe thought. "That also explains your line," Durbe said, pointing towards the script. "In our last scene today, you said, 'Tsukumo Yuma is my prey.' But in the episode this week, it was supposed to be, 'Tsukumo Yuma is my **opponent**.'"

Alit looked at the script again. "OH!" he exclaimed. "That would explain why I scream during the duel, 'I will trample you, boil you in tomato paste, and feed you to the Winged Dragon of Ra.'"

Durbe no longer had a retort for such a thing.

He just had to remember to complain about their writer. His ideas were starting to get a little creepy.

* * *

**D.T.B: Blame the fact that Halloween is rolling about that I thought of this. Blame my sister too. She gave me the suggestion. **

**Durbe: 'And blame the keyboard that I typed this. It was cursed.'**

**D.T.B: Yeah. HEY!**


	4. Forgetting Their Lines

(A/N I apologize for the shortness of the chapter. It was something I couldn't exactly avoid. Please enjoy.)

Chapter 4

Forgetting their Lines

(When I typed this, I had yet to watch the english episode. This is totally based on what I read in the summary.)

* * *

Episode Number 80: Rivals in the Ring

Take one

"Alito," Dumon called. "I need you to go to the human world and assist Girag in capturing the Numbers. Lately, his abilities have become questionable."

"What?!" Alito whined. "I don't wanna. It puts a great deal of limitations on my human body and it's a squabbling of my dueling skills."

**BEEEEEP!**

Durbe could only keep himself from falling onto his knees. "Alit!" he yelled. "What is the matter with you?! I thought you said you would act **seriously** today!"

"I will, I will," Alit said, giving Durbe the 'calm down' gesture. "Trust me. When the right scene comes, I'll act beautifully."

"Then maybe you could actually say your lines correctly and hurry to that scene," Durbe said. "It's only a few minutes and then you're out."

"It just hit me," Alit said. "Why is Durbe so darn cranky today?"

"His girlfriend is still out of the show," Misael said. "The last time she showed up was when she was dressed up in that bandage costume."

"Rio is not my girlfriend!" Durbe yelled. "I'm just-"

"Upset that your little Rio-chan can't be here," Alit interrupted.

"Cut that out!" Durbe screamed.

"Alright," Alit said. "I'll preform properly this time."

"'Bout time," Misael mumbled. "I'm just glad that Vector's not in this episode."

Episode Number 80: Rivals in the Ring

Take two

"Alito," Dumon called. "I need you to go to the human world and assist Girag in capturing the Numbers. Lately, his abilities have become questionable."

"What?!" Alito whined. "I don't wanna. It puts a great deal of limitations on my human body and it's a squandering of my dueling skills."

"Just go!" Dumon yelled, his eyes glowing brightly with rage.

"EEEH," went Alito. "Alright, alright."

Then he vanished.

Then Mizar walked in. "Dumon, are you certain we can trust Alito with this?" he asked. "Yuma Tsukumo must be defeated. Our world desperately needs those Numbers to survive. And Alito is too impulsive and only cares about himself."

"Putting everything aside, Alito's Dancing skills are reliable," Dumon said, seconds before realizing what he just said.

**BEEEEP!**

Durbe turned bright red.

Meanwhile, Alit just started laughing. "My DANCING skills?!" he laughed. "Okay! That's just funny. Real funny, Durbe!"

Then he just stared laughing even harder.

And Durbe's face went as red as a tomato. "Thanks a lot, Alit! Now you've got me doing it!"

* * *

**D.T.B: I'd like to thank my sister for that one. She gave me the suggestion for this joke, I just followed suit. Enjoy~!**

**Durbe: Am I allowed to yell at you?**

**D.T.B: I'm your employer so, no.**

**Durbe: GRRR**


	5. Episode 99: Vector's Traps

**D.T.B: I decided to update this a little earlier than usual. This chapter's issue shall actually span at least three different chapters. Maybe more if I get any suggestions. Now, if you'll excuse me. [Leaves.]**

**Yuma: Why was she so upset?**

**Alit: Nobody reviewed that last chapter. **

**Yuma: But all you guys did was screw up your lines. Would they need to review?**

**Alit: [Flashes Yuma a glare] I was the star of that chapter!**

**Astral: D.T.B does not own Zexal. She is simply a fan.  
**

* * *

Chapter 5

Episodes 99: Vector's Traps

* * *

Durbe had awakened, the entire world regaining its sharpness and color. "What?" he wondered.

He forced himself up, forcing his weight on both his arms. Suddenly, his arm burned with a sensation he wasn't accustomed to.

Pain.

"Blast!" he exclaimed. "My Baria Lapis!" He then looked forward, his face contorted from the pain in his shoulder.

He remembered that which had caused him the injury to his entire right side. "That was definitely Tsukumo's ship," he said. "That means-"

A loud roar prevented him from thinking after that.

He looked up and saw a bear staring down at him. And it definitely looked hungry.

"Oh, yeah!" Yuma cried, jumping down from who-knows-where and landing right in front of Durbe. Then he, the bear, and Astral, got into a staring contest before the bear finally got the hint and left. "Heh," went Yuma. "Guess I scared it off."

Instantly, pain shot through Durbe's arm again, causing him to collapse.

After that, it was only a matter of time before Ryoga showed up and started lecturing Yuma about his greatest weakness: his gullibility.

**BEEEP!**

"Alright, boys," the director said. "Take a quick break. We'll be doing the next scene in a few minutes."

Durbe then got up and started patting himself down. "The next scene was the discovery of the Ruins, correct?" he asked.

Misael, who was playing the bear in the scene, pulled of his mask. "Yeah," he said.

"It will be your first official meeting with Rio-chan in the series, seeing as how your character didn't pay attention to her in the last few episodes," Yuma said. "Be sure to make a good first impression."

"From what I could tell, there is no interaction between my character and Rio's character," Durbe said. "Sorry, but I don't have to make any impression on her at all."

"That's right," Vector said, slapping Durbe's shoulder. "But it's not like you can act like she's not in the room."

"Uhgn," went Durbe. "Vector, don't do that!" he snapped.

"Durbe," Yuma said. "Did you actually hurt your arm?"

"Yeah," Durbe answered. "Right before I left for the set."

"What happened?"

To answer, Durbe shot Vector a glare. "Let's just say I had some trouble with my door," he said. "Tell me, what's today's date?"

"April 11th," Ryoga said. "Why?"

"No reason," Durbe answered. ←[Grateful that it's not April Fool's Day.]

"Are you sure you'll be able to handle the rest of the episode with that arm?" Rio asked, appearing from behind Misael.

Durbe looked over to Rio, paused, and turned his head. "I'll be fine," he said.

Rio seemed pleased, but not pleased enough to forget throwing a glare at Vector, who looked ready to do something else.

* * *

"Okay, boys," the director said. "And, ACTION!"

A loud shriek could be heard. All three boys started running to the source, two of them being worried about the person to whom the scream belonged to.

They found one of the Legendary Ruins, the very same ruins both Durbe and the Numbers Club had been looking for. They entered the ruins to see two beautiful girls standing on a fallen pillar, a bunch of harmless snakes surrounding them. All the boys shared the same confused look.

"You guys really need to be looked after, huh?" Yuma asked as he beat the snakes away alongside Ryoga.

"That's because snakes are the archenemies of birds!" Kotori cried angrily.

Astral then floated closer to them. Rio was quick to turn her head. "Oh, Astral!" she said happily. "I can still see you. Does this mean I ranked-up?"

Durbe couldn't say a word. For all they knew, Durbe was a human traveler, Nasch. Revealing that he could see the Original Number would reveal that he was anything but ordinary.

So he chose to keep silent, all the while angry about the fact that he couldn't duel properly in his condition.

They made their way towards two doors, one blue, one red. As they were wondering what it was, both Ryoga and Yuma stepped on hidden switches.

But no wall fell down.

Instead, a large bucket of water fell on Durbe's head.

**BEEEP!**

"Durbe-kun!" Rio exclaimed. "Are you okay?"

The sopping wet Barian pulled the bucket off of his head. "I'll be fine," he said. Then he proceeded to examine the bucket. "Now, who would ruin this scene?" he asked, almost sarcastically. "Not to mention, using a bucket that says, 'Got you, Durbe-chan,' on the bottom? In Vector's handwriting?"

"Don Thousand!" Yuma exclaimed, slamming his hand into his palm.

"Yuma," Ryoga said. "We're not doing the scene now. You don't have to act so dense."

"Huh? I was acting?"

Everybody sweat dropped.

"I'm gonna go get changed," Durbe said.

"Want me to bring you a towel?" Rio asked.

"I brought one with me," Durbe said, his face developing a blush.

Then Durbe left.

* * *

Five minutes past before Durbe came back in, a towel running through his grey hair. His face seemed to be slightly red, though that might have been the blush from earlier. ←[Famous for keeping blush for long periods of time.] "Well, shall we do the next scene?" Durbe asked.

"I guess," Ryoga said. "Hey, Director guy! You ready?!"

To answer, the director gave them a thumbs-up.

* * *

Ryoga and Durbe continued down the halls. "Just don't expect me to trust you or anything now," Ryoga said to his rescuer.

"I only did it to repay my debt to Yuma," Durbe said, stopping briefly at the realization that there was something stuck on his shoe. "Huh?"

"What's the matter?" Ryoga asked.

"Vector, you jerk," Durbe growled under his breath. "Since when do we leave gum on the set?"

"Durbe?"

"Huh?" went Durbe. "Oh, it's nothing." He wasn't especially keen about the idea of having yet another No-Go thanks to Vector's antics.

If only he knew what else Vector had in store.

The gum was only the first, as well as the nicest, of his many jokes.

* * *

Not surprisingly, after enduring more water pranks, blow darts dipped with sleeping powder, (Which Mach ended up getting hit with) and lemon-meringue pies with whipped cream on them, Durbe failed to show up for rehearsal the following day. "Durbe!" Vector screamed over the phone. "Where are you?! We need you for rehearsals!"

Durbe pulled a thermometer out of his mouth.

102 degrees.

"I'm at my apartment, Vector," he said, nasally.

Then he had to explain, with a sore throat, that he was unavailable thanks to a head cold that appeared supposedly out of nowhere that morning.

Vector was not going to survive the week.

Durbe promised himself that.

* * *

**D.T.B: ****Poor Durbe! At least he didn't get too much torture from me, huh?**

**Vector: Why didn't you put in my alligators!?**

**D.T.B: Because you gave Durbe enough of a cold without adding a lost appendage to the mix.**

**Alit: I just hope he's back up by the next episode.**

**D.T.B: Why do you think he didn't show up for a while after episode 100? **

**FairyLight: Okay, good. At least it's not something Vector did as revenge for him not coming to rehearsal.**

**D.T.B: His apartment, I am proud to say, is Vector-proof. Not even a snake could get in.**

**Miseal: Trust her. I've accidentally fallen into some of his traps. Where did he get that stuff? From DNAngel?**

**D.T.B: [Giggles]**


	6. Missing Tachyon

**D.T.B: To those who gave me suggestions: Thank you. I will be using those suggestions either after or during the Durbe's Cold Arc.**

**Durbe: Since when did this stupid thing have a name?**

**D.T.B: Just now. Thank you again. In the meantime, I have a poll in my profile. It shall be important for my story, "Shark's Revival." Do you think you can take five seconds to vote while I'm away?**

**Misael: She's advertising for a different fanfiction?**

**Astral: She doesn't own Zexal. What she does own is-**

**D.T.B: Astral no baka! Don't tell 'em! Anyway, enjoy the chapter, people. **

* * *

Chapter 6

Missing Tachyon

* * *

Durbe had caught wind of where the next Legendary Ruins was located. While he claimed that he didn't believe that the Barian Emperors were once humans, he admitted to being curious about what the ruins held. Maybe they had some information about Nasch and Merag. That earned him another doubtful question from Misael, but he ignored it.

Fact of the matter was, he wasn't so sure he was willing to believe it himself. But the ruins held information before. These would more than likely be no different.

He made his way to the Different Dimension Airship, the very same golden beast that had harmed him before. The only person on the ship, surprisingly, was Kotori Mizuki. He remembered her as the 'pitiful girl who was scared of garden snakes.' He learned from her that the rest of her team - Ryoga, Rio, and Yuma - had gone to the bottom of the ocean, where he proceeded to go.

He broke through the Ruins rather easily. Maybe the water weighing the stone labyrinth down had something to do with it. The water was beating down on his shoulders as he advanced forward and found Yuma Tsukumo, as well as the Original Number, Astral.

It goes without saying, Yuma was surprised. Stunned, even.

"Durbe," he said, his voice caught in his throat for a moment.

The Barian Emperor simply looked at him.

"**And, that's a wrap, boys**," the director called over the intercom. "**Thanks for your hard work.**"

With that, everybody in the crew started for the exit for the set. Many were eager to get out, and Durbe and Yuma were eager to get **dry. **

* * *

As soon as the sunlight touched Durbe's mask, the Barian Emperor started hacking up a lung.

"Durbe-kun," Rio called, running over to him in her princess costume. As soon as she reached him, she placed her hand on his shoulder.

"My head's throbbing," Durbe mumbled, pulling his Barian mask off of his face. Over his mouth was a gauze mask. (Don't ask.) "And the water didn't help matters at all."

"I told you not to get out of bed this morning," Misael said, walking away with a towel to his face. "I could hear you coughing from my room."

"Your cold hasn't improved yet, has it?" Ryoga asked. "Why didn't you just call in sick and get some sleep? We can last a day without you, you know."

"I wanted to," Durbe said. "But somebody called me, saying it was a matter of life and death."

Behind him, Alit froze before attempting to whistle.

"You can't whistle, Alit," Durbe said, his voice becoming slightly nasally.

"Oh, that's right!" went Alit, failing miserably to hide his discomfort with a chuckle.

"Couldn't we have shot this scene after I got over this thing?" Durbe asked, moments before a sneeze. "We didn't have to shoot this scene today."

"Yeah, but we had to shoot this scene by the end of the week," Alit informed him.

"I'd have been back by Friday, you simpleton," Durbe growled.

Then he started coughing again.

"Thank you, head cold," Alit thought happily. A head cold meant that Durbe couldn't lecture him about any problems he might have with how things were being done. Unless, of course, he had a craving for a severe case of laryngitis. Alit was safe from his wrath for, at least, a few more days.

Just like a vacation.

Durbe continued to cough for a few moments longer. "Want me and Ryoga to walk you home, Durbe-kun?" Rio asked, placing her hands on his shoulders.

Durbe looked over to her as his coughing began to cease. It was clear he was tired and needed some rest, but some were wondering whether his blush came from his fever.

* * *

"Tachyon!" they could all hear Misael call out suddenly. "Tachyon, where are you?"

They all turned their heads. Misael was in his more casual outfit, consisting of a yellow long-sleeve, grey pants, and his hair in a ponytail. "Has anybody seen Tachyon today?" he asked.

"Tachyon?" Yuma asked. "Isn't he in your deck?"

"No, that's my monster card."

"Are you referring to that beast that made his way into my room last night?" Durbe asked.

"Yep," Misael said. "That's the one."

"Who's Tachyon?" Alit asked.

"He's my pet," Misael said. "He's a ferocious little beast, so I don't let him come on set when we're working. That, and Durbe doesn't like him for personal reasons." He threw the cold victim a goofy glare.

"It's not that I hate him," Durbe said. "You know the reason."

"Anyway," Misael continued, "I went to go feed him his lunch and he wasn't there."

"Did you leave his cage open again?" Durbe asked. "You really need to be more responsible for that animal."

"I know, I know," Misael said. "Take it easy. You don't want to get laryngitis because of my pet, do you?"

Durbe simply glared.

"Anyway, where could that beast be?" Misael asked himself, looking around. "When he gets hungry, he'll eat anything."

That sent Yuma and Alit into a whirlpool called Total Freakout.

"He has an actual DRAGON!?" the two of them thought fearfully.

"If something like that gets loose, he could destroy the whole set or worse," Yuma thought.

"We'll help you look for him!" Alit said, grabbing hold of Durbe's wrist. "Let's go!"

"I was just about to go home!" Durbe said, his sore throat preventing him from sounding intimidating. When he learned that Alit didn't hear him, he turned to face Misael. "Misael, please tell them."

Misael just had to give his friend a rough time. "This is actually good, Durbe," he said. "Now we'll really know where he is."

"When I get over this cold, you're the first to fall," Durbe thought, coughing briefly.

* * *

So the search for Tachyon began.

And let me just say, it was no cakewalk.

The whole time, Yuma and Alit were looking in places where a dragon would be able to fit, such as the dressing rooms, the park, and others. Meanwhile, Durbe, and to a lesser extent, Kaito, (Since they pulled him in later on.) started looking through trashcans or open lockers. (Kaito looked through the trashcans. Even opening one made Durbe want to faint.)

"How's your cold?" Kaito asked as he looked in a tree.

"Still there," Durbe responded, pulling the gauze mask away from his face for a moment to take in some fresh air. "Well, he's not around here."

"How would you know?" Kaito asked.

"I just know," Durbe informed him vaguely.

* * *

Yuma and Alit eventually pulled Heartland into it, which wasn't such a good idea, seeing as how he hadn't the faintest idea what Tachyon looked like.

They continued looking through larger areas, such as the gym set, the academy set, and more. Meanwhile, Durbe looked up a tree, coughing slightly as his cold was catching up to him. He really needed to go home and get some sleep. His fever was demanding it.

"Tachyon!" Misael called again. "Where could that little rascal be?"

"You're the master to a dragon and you're calling it a 'little rascal?!'" Alit asked.

"You really are a dragon tamer!" Yuma agreed.

"What are you guys talking about?" Misael asked.

"What are you guys thinking a-" Durbe began, seconds before sneezing.

Then he sneezed again.

And again.

Misael turned to face his friend. "What's the matter, Durbe?" he asked.

"Excuse me," a female voice said. "Are you looking for him?"

They all turned around again. Droite was standing before them, holding a purple cat with yellow eyes in her arms. After noticing Misael's golden hair, the cat meowed.

"Tachyon!" Misael cried happily.

Gloom hung over the two simple duelists.

Misael accepted the cat from Droite. "Arigato, Droite," he said.

"Don't mention it," Droite said. "I only returned him because he was messing up Gauche's costumes."

"So," went Alit, "Tachyon is a cat?"

Misael turned to his fellow Barian. "Of course he's a cat," he said. "What were you expecting? A dragon?"

"Yes!" Yuma and Alit thought.

"Now that you got him back," Durbe said, "think you can put him back in his cage?"

Then he sneezed again.

"Why are you sneezing so much, Durbe?" Alit asked. "Is your cold getting worse?"

"He'll be fine," Misael said, backing away. "He's just allergic to cats."

"No," Durbe said. "I'm not allergic to cats. I'm allergic to Tachyon."

Then he sneezed again.

"But...Tachyon is a cat, right?" Yuma asked.

"Yeah, but he's the only cat that makes Durbe sneeze," Misael said, walking away from them all. "Now, then, Tachyon. Let's get you something to eat and get you far away from Durbe."

The Barian in question let out yet another sneeze.

Only this time, it was because of his cold.

* * *

**D.T.B: Who knew Misael had a thing for cats?**

**Misael: Don't ever bring that back up again.**

**D.T.B: Oh, come on. [Pets Tachyon] He's cute.**

**Tachyon: [Meows]**

**Durbe: I'm going home.**


End file.
